too good to not admit
much in the same vein as the previous entry in that there are some things i might not really want to admit, i absolutely have to share this story of incredible shame.
so, our trash is picked up once a week on tuesdays, and we have this ginormous trash bin that we keep just outside our garage and then move to the road tuesday mornings (much like all other americans, i think).
we also have this bear that lives just up over the hill directly across from our house and behind our neighbor's house. actually, i think there are a few of them. we had one in particular last year that enjoyed our trash and we caught sight of him a few times--a big, brown bear totally unaffected by yelled obscenities conveying the message get out of my trash or the like. rumor has it, though, that this summer it's a big black bear. i know next-to-nothing about bears (except that it would be really stupid to try and live with them--did you see that documentary--holy shit!) so i have no idea if the type affects the temperment of whatever. what i DO know is that the idiots in our neighborhood (mostly summer residents from texas who don't know better) who like to leave food out specifically for the bears have created a problem where they are compelled to go through our trash. such was my woe last week.
it isn't that i didn't expect it, it's just that it was a little early and so i hadn't yet started putting our bin in the garage. well, this particular week i had some sex toys i wanted to dispose of, for one reason or another. i was very careful in placing them in the middle of the trash and not right on top for the trash collector or landfill worker to easily view. but i was not thinking of the bear.
normally when the bear goes through our trash, it stays in our yard, strewn about for all to see and me to pick up. the bags don't make it far, what with being carried in their teeth and claws. but such was not my luck this time.
i think i was giving soren a bath when j came in to tell me he was going to take the trash out to the road but there was nothing in the bin and hadn't i thrown away any trash while he had been gone? yes, i replied a little sheepishly, starting to remember just exactly what i had thrown away. there's really nothing in there? nope, was his reply, also realizing it must have ended up somewhere. and there's no trash in our yard, either. we were both puzzled. i then frantically told him he MUST find that trash and explained why. trying to stifle a giggle, he said he'd go take a look across the street and up the hill.
of course, as i'd feared, it was the bear, and of course, also as i had feared, our trash was directly behind our neighbor's house, strewn about in their yard for them to pick up. and, to make matters worse, they had been picking it up. they weren't out there when j came upon it but the bear had obviously gotten into their trash, too, as there was quite a mix of trash that clearly was not ours. so they had been picking it up before we'd even seen it, though the items in question were still lying on the ground, untouched. except by the bear.
j came back and reported this to me with an evil chuckle and then said he'd go pick it all up, which he did. we started to think perhaps the neighbors hadn't seen any of this, as it was a bit farther up the hill behind their house. but later in the week when i had the neighbor over for tea, she didn't come right out and say she'd seen the exact contents of my trash in her backyard, but she did note that she knew it was all the way up the hill and that they had been picking some of it up but realized it wasn't all theirs and left the rest. i will never be able to talk to them again without thinking in the back of my head, they saw my sex toys. it's a little weird.
so, our trash is picked up once a week on tuesdays, and we have this ginormous trash bin that we keep just outside our garage and then move to the road tuesday mornings (much like all other americans, i think).
we also have this bear that lives just up over the hill directly across from our house and behind our neighbor's house. actually, i think there are a few of them. we had one in particular last year that enjoyed our trash and we caught sight of him a few times--a big, brown bear totally unaffected by yelled obscenities conveying the message get out of my trash or the like. rumor has it, though, that this summer it's a big black bear. i know next-to-nothing about bears (except that it would be really stupid to try and live with them--did you see that documentary--holy shit!) so i have no idea if the type affects the temperment of whatever. what i DO know is that the idiots in our neighborhood (mostly summer residents from texas who don't know better) who like to leave food out specifically for the bears have created a problem where they are compelled to go through our trash. such was my woe last week.
it isn't that i didn't expect it, it's just that it was a little early and so i hadn't yet started putting our bin in the garage. well, this particular week i had some sex toys i wanted to dispose of, for one reason or another. i was very careful in placing them in the middle of the trash and not right on top for the trash collector or landfill worker to easily view. but i was not thinking of the bear.
normally when the bear goes through our trash, it stays in our yard, strewn about for all to see and me to pick up. the bags don't make it far, what with being carried in their teeth and claws. but such was not my luck this time.
i think i was giving soren a bath when j came in to tell me he was going to take the trash out to the road but there was nothing in the bin and hadn't i thrown away any trash while he had been gone? yes, i replied a little sheepishly, starting to remember just exactly what i had thrown away. there's really nothing in there? nope, was his reply, also realizing it must have ended up somewhere. and there's no trash in our yard, either. we were both puzzled. i then frantically told him he MUST find that trash and explained why. trying to stifle a giggle, he said he'd go take a look across the street and up the hill.
of course, as i'd feared, it was the bear, and of course, also as i had feared, our trash was directly behind our neighbor's house, strewn about in their yard for them to pick up. and, to make matters worse, they had been picking it up. they weren't out there when j came upon it but the bear had obviously gotten into their trash, too, as there was quite a mix of trash that clearly was not ours. so they had been picking it up before we'd even seen it, though the items in question were still lying on the ground, untouched. except by the bear.
j came back and reported this to me with an evil chuckle and then said he'd go pick it all up, which he did. we started to think perhaps the neighbors hadn't seen any of this, as it was a bit farther up the hill behind their house. but later in the week when i had the neighbor over for tea, she didn't come right out and say she'd seen the exact contents of my trash in her backyard, but she did note that she knew it was all the way up the hill and that they had been picking some of it up but realized it wasn't all theirs and left the rest. i will never be able to talk to them again without thinking in the back of my head, they saw my sex toys. it's a little weird.
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