it's inevitable

it's so strange to see someone you're close to age in what seems such a short time. she's losing it fast, and i have all these unclear emotions about it. the time before this last visit she was so cognizent, so perky; now she just stumbles all over herself. this may be her last week of individuality. what must that be like, to be aging and still feel in control, yet be so far out of control and not even realize it? what will it be like at the end when you know your inevitable hour is lingering above you, just waiting for the green sign? she will be angry that she cannot drive herself around anymore; she rage against the unfairness of not having much privacy, not having her abundantly supplied kitchen, not having the smells and memories of her own house. and we are so far away, so many miles away from comfort and warmth.
it is very strange.