starting over

am i awake? is it time? better take my temperature again. i vaguely remember taking it three times throughout the night; must have been in a sleepy stupor, as there was really no reason for me to have taken my temperature that many times or even in the middle of the night. the once should suffice, i thought, as i stuck it in my mouth as i'd routinely done the past month or so.
day 38, huh? i'm having a hard time remembering how long i went the first time. i'm so irregular, it's incredibly frustrating. but it isn't as if there's any chance it's happened this month; i've been so sick all month, my body has hardly been in adequate shape. and anyway it's my first time tracking, i never have luck like that. no, i'm sure as soon as i take my test it'll start. another month of disappointment. why has it been so hard? i never expected it to be...but, of course, maybe if i stop thinking about it so much and hoping for it, it'll happen.
i'd better get out of bed and take that test, get it over with. okay, i'm moving. one. leg. at. a. time. god, these things are so hard to get into...stupid proof...there. and who ever heard of peeing on a stick, anyway? couldn't they have come up with a more dignifying way to take this test? hold it between your legs and pee on it. lovely.
okay, okay. let's get this over with so i can...wait, is that a plus sign? where are the instructions? a plus indicates a positive pregnancy. what? well, that middle line is pretty faint. even if lines are faint, they are still detecting the pregnancy hormone. "j-!"
"what?" from the other room.
"come here!"
"no!"
he knows what i'm doing.
i'm tripping over my pants that aren't quite up yet as i dash into soren's room where he is. "look! look!"
"what does that mean?"
"it means i'm pregnant!"
i can hardly help but laugh.