a trip down nostalgia lane
i received a visit from my past today. i teach at the high school from which i graduated, and the librarian now was also the librarian then. today i found in my box a gift from her...a copy of a literary and artistic publication from 1995-1996. on page 25 is a poem i wrote. god, i was a FRESHMAN! i was rather amused, though, and so i thought i'd make myself slightly vulnerable and share the poem i submitted. it has no title.
Brightness bounces off these walls--binding tightly walls, one sided face which malls, locks me in my sanity.
Confining surroundings, and my coffee cup's run dry; to the very last drip it is dry, to no avail I sip, then cry.
From above I hear fingers slipping over piano keys, delicate, delicate, softly a sound flows to me.
My childish inhabitants stay inside my brain--cannot decide to scream or pray but they yell while I gleam. Do they hear every word I say?
One throws advice and the other demeans, to choose what is my choice, and guard. To protect a thousand lies which come from every direction and know which is right, from whose mouth comes deliverance?
Confining and closing in on me, I am trapped yet still they scream. Bang my head on tighly binding walls, I've found salvation in a kiss. One touch, I'll live forever, as God is my God, if He is, if there is. What's my power--to live up, break away, fall forever in my hole?
Too many questions, and now they pray. A whine and plead, see me gleam now, in pain I smile; I'm lain all the while, and they hear every word I say.
i guess it was painful to be 14! high school is such a strange, emotional time. i have to laugh when i observe the drama that goes on among my students. one of my senior girls literally screamed at a senior guy for having the same shoes as she did--they then proceeded to fight to determine who had purchased them first. luckily, i don't remember those being the kinds of things that concerned me in high school. i was more concerned with music, partying, feelings, and my then-boyfriend, now-husband.
i'd like to think life has become less dramatic, but sadly, i don't think so.
Brightness bounces off these walls--binding tightly walls, one sided face which malls, locks me in my sanity.
Confining surroundings, and my coffee cup's run dry; to the very last drip it is dry, to no avail I sip, then cry.
From above I hear fingers slipping over piano keys, delicate, delicate, softly a sound flows to me.
My childish inhabitants stay inside my brain--cannot decide to scream or pray but they yell while I gleam. Do they hear every word I say?
One throws advice and the other demeans, to choose what is my choice, and guard. To protect a thousand lies which come from every direction and know which is right, from whose mouth comes deliverance?
Confining and closing in on me, I am trapped yet still they scream. Bang my head on tighly binding walls, I've found salvation in a kiss. One touch, I'll live forever, as God is my God, if He is, if there is. What's my power--to live up, break away, fall forever in my hole?
Too many questions, and now they pray. A whine and plead, see me gleam now, in pain I smile; I'm lain all the while, and they hear every word I say.
i guess it was painful to be 14! high school is such a strange, emotional time. i have to laugh when i observe the drama that goes on among my students. one of my senior girls literally screamed at a senior guy for having the same shoes as she did--they then proceeded to fight to determine who had purchased them first. luckily, i don't remember those being the kinds of things that concerned me in high school. i was more concerned with music, partying, feelings, and my then-boyfriend, now-husband.
i'd like to think life has become less dramatic, but sadly, i don't think so.
3 Comments:
At 24 March, 2005 18:57,
ceci n'est pas said…
I thought the poem was great. It's funny to think about how big problems were. I can think of more than one thing that I argued with people about that, looking back on, was just plain dumb. I guess that's what "growing up" is about, replacing the problems I thought were big with problems that are big. progress
At 24 March, 2005 19:07,
sladkaya said…
no doubt. so, would you trade your problems? if you could, would you go back to the time when you could argue about shoes, or is the reward greater (and worth it) that comes with the REAL problems?
At 25 March, 2005 10:54,
ceci n'est pas said…
sometimes it's pretty tempting. I suppose I would, if I had the knowledge of what some of these problems would look like. But, then again, I would have said the same thing then about trading with my problems now.
I'm still waiting to see about this reward buisness you're talking about.
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